Getting Gotten

Phew!

January unabates and intensifies, rendering the sun forgettable even as or when it emerges.

I wish that there were other words, because nothing that I know comes close to depicting the vapid and petulant matter of the fact that I've no control over my non-life except wait no I don't remember the silver lining that I'd devised.

But I’m staring square a heap of expenses that I won’t be able to make because I’m a) not regularly employed and b) not paid punctually for work that I do. All that bullshit about “do something and it will manifest” and “the universe will provide” has done nothing for me but corrode my insides before an angry stack of angrier bills.

Despite the deepening dread that shrouds my everything, I cannot believe that the sole solution for me lies with declaring myself decrepit and surrendering the remainder of what I do have to the disability ratwheel.

Anyway, I am gonna be psyched when the days become longer and creatures start being fancifully foolish on purpose, just 'cause it's a just cause.

And also when I can afford my house. And my car. Because I have a JOB. Which, incidentally, I will LOVE.

And also the far-flung fledges of human majesty in each an all of us burst into capital realities.