a subjective observation

every time an opportunity--for conviviality, economic stability, right livelihood, whatever-the-eff rambunctious semi-adventure--appears, i have a burst of energy that is, all too often, not commensurate with the opportunity. often, my enthusiasm is utterly unwarranted, and is squandered as a result. it's like electrifying an inanimate object and expecting it to come to life in a unique way, only to see and smell it melting/burning/vaporizing. i become exhausted, and might even feign indignation, but the problem is entirely my own.


you fill me with an average sensation


Telling someone
(an old friend)
 about this blog
on effheadbook
led me at first
to realize that i'd
not written anyth
ing on it or in it for
nearly two moons
which then led me
to wonder what had
happened at which,
as if cued, all of these
animals in my head
commenced noising:
some for attention,
some to irritate me,
some out of wrathful
anger like an appendage of
some deity (yeah, i know).

so, i'm sitting outside at midnight, slapping my head and torso at irregular (albeit tiny) intervals in a too-late effort to discourage flying insects from collecting my blood. if they'd only just ASK for blood, I'd give them more than they want, even. that reminds me very suddenly that i completely missed yesterday's American Red Cross blood drive. i'd made an appointment and everything, but forgot. until now. perhaps said insects are a surreptitious tool of the American Red Cross for people that don't materialize at their appointments for donation.

know what? i'll post this, because its gonna take forever otherwise,