Daylight Squandering Time

the time what time is it again is passing yet it's labored like trying to sled downhill only to sink into the snow and it's also like growing taller while standing in quicksand there is little if any discernible change now it's late and sleep can't happen because the days have just been stretched in a manner akin to taffy (i.e., it could or might seem to be of greater volume than it was, but it most assuredly is not so) and clocks don't argue although they should i would listen at least once

the switch to EDT has not been easy, and it never is, but we in my family are each and all under the delicious and agonizing siege of Spring Fever. this means that we don't want to retire at the day's end, which means that we'll find ourselves sleeping toward impracticability in utterly unprecedented ways. the bright side, however, is that it's a pretty unanimous occurrence in this household.

is it me, or has the last decade provided some of the most stultifying flourishes of speech imaginable? i mean, i know that everybody has suffered under the Reign of the Ruthless Redneck, but some aphorisms are blatant invitations to a) mourn the passing of intelligence in humanity, and/or b) feel sorry for the poor schmucks that want desperately to be understood but are so sextexted and vain that they don't have any actual ideas.

think about it (I'll italicize the irritants, then offer aptly flippant responses):

Talking points 
a gerund-rock name-in-waiting if ever there was one.

It is what it is 
yeah, and it isn't what it's not, a-hole. dismissive types, especially when evading consequences, drive me batshit.

Celebrity-Couple Hybridized Names (Brangelina, Bennifer, TomKat): 
these are truly vile, and people make money for devising them!

the namesake footwear is punishing, sure, but that's really nothing in the face of GWB's co-opting the term.

On [or Off] the table 
what damned table? is it YOUR table? if so, then pray tell: why'd anyone want anything from it? creep.

excuse me, but what? this has got to be the stupidest term of them all, so far.

merely an insulting gambit of the mock-cognoscenti to reinforce the idea that their hipness is untouchable.

Not so much
occurs typically in the idiom of a person answering his or her own question WHEN THE OTHER PERSON IS OSTENSIBLY CONVERSING WITH THEM, e.g., "Do I think that such-and-such is fun? Eh...not so much." Awful. 

Drunk dial
the fact that calling somebody while inebriated (whether to babble tortuously, or to arrange for future copulation, or to spout impassioned invective) is sufficiently mainstream to warrant a instantly trite catchphrase is, at once, both bothersome and boring.

I very seriously could go on and on, but I should go to bed instead. Goodnight!

1 comment:

  1. I do so love your derision, though not so much the objects of it.


    banter makes oatmeal gross.